Review

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Comments

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Review Plurk #1
Review Plurk #2 - Up to Act 6
Review Plurk Credits

Openbound #1
Openbound #4

EARLY HOMESTUCK

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TG: theyre always throwing around these geographical comparisons to give us a sense of scale like it really means anything to us
TG: but its like it doesnt matter its always just like: WOW THATS PRETTY FUCKING BIG
TG: like mr president theres a meteor coming sir. oh yeah, how big is it? its the size of texas sir
TG: OH SHIT
TG: or, how big is it? its the size of new york city sir
TG: OH SHIT
TG: sir im afraid the comet is the size of your moms dick
TG: OH SNAP

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TG: armageddon's gettin waged on us
TG: but im-a gettin armed and dangerous
TG: sending men in space for savin us
TG: see which playa's more couragerous
TG: ben or bruce? dudes reach a truce
TG: put their blowchutes to use and up-suck it
TG: afflecks saclifice, i mean -crifice, would have to sufflice. aw fluck it
TG: bro be a stained-glass saint, up on a cross gettin hella christ-plagiarous
TG: bruce's like offa that cruciflix, nuff a this fuckin savior-fuss

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TG: oh man i wish lil cal wouldnt look at me like that
TG: with those dead eyes jesus
TG: sometimes i dream that hes real and hes talking to me and i wake up in a cold sweat and basically flip the fuck out

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TEXT

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TG: you dont seem to harbor any sympathy for the fact that ive burrowed fuck deep into lively, fluffy muppet buttock
TG: im whirling in the terrible cyclone at the epicenter of my own personal holocaust of twitching foam noses
TG: its like a fucking apocalypse of perky proboscis here
TG: like
TG: the proboscalypse i guess

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It seems you may have just been an unwitting accessory to some sort of grisly puppet snuff film. You're not totally sure how you feel about that.

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TG: and i want to know exactly when i got to clear some space in my calendar for when some fuckwit blunders out of a magical phone booth and makes a ballad-inspiring play for my throbbing beef truncheon

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TG: TRANSPIRE

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TG: oh my god
TG: so many words
TG: do you think like the pulitzer committee is secretly scouring the dregs of the gamefaq archives or something
TG: damn

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TG: thats kind of the obtuse alien way of getting it but yeah
TG: be like
TG: an antagonism ninja
TG: like her
TG: i dont know you sort of remind me of her anyway so maybe thats a good thing
TG: it could be a horrible thing though

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TG: try going to sleep
TG: our dream selves kind of operate outside the normal time continuum i think
TG: so if part of you from this timelines going to persist thats probably the way to make it happen

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DAVE: alright
DAVE: here goes
DAVE: why are we so fucking awesome


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TG: dont talk to john anymore hes an impressionable doofus
TG: your plan didnt work
TG: i mean it did
TG: but then suddenly it didnt
TG: so you might as well quit trying

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TG: no no thats irony this is like
TG: sincere honest to god psychosis
TG: im training to be a lame gothy supervillain

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TG: ..........................

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TG: just him and me
TG: havin a see party
TG: like a couple of eagle eyed bros peepin shit up into the wee hours

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TG: hey speaking of which
TG: where is my bro anyway
TG: havent seen him at all since i got here

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TG: no shit your deal is wind not time
TG: youre on easy street what is there even to think about with wind
TG: like what angle to blow it at to fly a damn kite or how gentle its gotta be to make a picnic go swimmingly
TG: its kiddie bullshit time is serious fucking business
TG: leave it to the pros ok

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TG: yeah ok whatever you say
TG: fuckin aliens

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TG: god damn
TG: that mouth
TG: its like
TG: i dont know
TG: a fucking pork chop
TG: jegus
TG: i mean jesus
TG: so overwhelmed i cant even damn type

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TG: god dammit
TG: im not actually crying
TG: its the fucking onions
TG: these piece of shit crocodiles are lambasting me with them

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TG: i dont know if you can keep up with me kid
TG: no offense
TG: theres just magic in these shoes and the coy gnome i ransacked wants them goddamn back

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CTG: if earth wasnt destroyed and she werent in some other universe on a planet full of unspeakable frothing dipshits
CTG: and she was on earth visiting your town or something
CTG: would you want to ask her to go see one of your dumbass movies
CTG: like the new maconnohey jam where he smirks and like all but deliberately draws the audiences ire like a goddamn magnetron

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TG: the thing youre looking for
TG: your dark clownish salvation or whatever the fuck
TG: your mirthful messiahs
TG: ahahahaha i cant even type that without lmao

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TG: fuck who cares
TG: like i even give a shit about being a hero whatever that even means
TG: im not seeing the problem here future me is awesome he can bail me out if he wants

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DAVESPRITE: maybe if john was to try with his pure heart and shit it woulda popped out like a champagne cork and fuckin hero confetti woulda blasted him in the face
DAVESPRITE: but you
DAVESPRITE: we
DAVESPRITE: we had to break it

MID HOMESTUCK

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ENDGAME

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Re: MID HOMESTUCK

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TG: im not gonna play in the snow
TG: maybe you missed those credentials i flashed which clearly stated me being too cool for that
TG: like federally too cool
TG: my coolness is named after a dead president plus his middle initial to make it sound extra legit

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TG: yeah
TG: it was like
TG: peering through the dark portal of an eldritch red lobster
TG: and scoping out its all you can eat seafood buffet
TG: and
TG: when i saw them
TG: their voices became clearer

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TG: yes how would it ever stop being a thing
TG: being a things not something it ever stopped doing
TG: i just want to know whats really going on here
TG: before i decide to start choppin off the heads of outrageously good looking snoozing dudes

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TG: now draw the conksuckiest boot you ever drew

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TG: well that was apparently pointless
TG: now what
TG: hello
TG: terezi
TG: whats up

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TG: sorry you had to see that
TG: but dont worry it was just a doomed dave no big deal really
TG: i was swindled into splitting time paths along the way and that guy got the dead end of the stick
TG: ill be fine

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TG: so then
TG: im dead